Rice for Dinner

We’ve had absolutely lovely weather here the last three days, rainy, rainy, rainy.  When sweltering, humid and hot days turn into rainy and 76 degree days, we adjust from being a slightly-irritable-in-the-late-afternoon-heat family to a relaxed-comfortable-non-sweating-happy-family.  I think our lawn is officially saturated now and the trees look almost inches taller than they did over the weekend…it’s wonderful.  I’m going to miss this place while we’re home. 

Clouds

I’m starting to think more about what it will be like to be away from Thailand for 6 months and am starting to get familiar with the routine.  It goes something like this; As soon as I am in America, I become homesick for Thailand.  The opposite is true as well, as soon as I am in Thailand, I am homesick for America.  Something happens when you live overseas for an extended period of time.  Somehow the smells, the scenery, the thoughts and way of life become a part of who you are.  I get that feeling whenever I step out of the airport in Bangkok onto the city streets.  The powerful smell of fish sauce assaults my nostrils, and yet smells almost sweet, familiar in a strangely foreign way.  To me Thailand symbolizes a lot of things.  It’s the first country outside of the U.S. that I’ve really truly experienced.  I’ve learned the language, developed a taste for the food, become familiar with a portion of the myriad of cultural complexities.  Thailand is also the first place where I felt called by the Lord to serve, to follow Him here despite leaving so many precious people behind.  Thailand is where I met Jeremy, where we dated, became engaged and now where we’ve lived as a married couple for more than 5 of our 6 years of marriage.  Thailand is where I became a mom for the first and second time.  It’s where I’ve raised my children for almost the entirety of their lives. This country holds such dear memories for me. 

I’ll miss the smell of humidity, the wetness that permeates every fiber of our home and every pore on our person.  Right now it’s 76 degrees.  I almost feel a little too cool.  Last night when I went to bed I noticed the temperature in our bedroom was about 84.  “It feels cool”, I thought, “we can go without the fan tonight.”  I’m having these visions of myself in 3 layers of long underwear in the first month of October.  It feels as though even my internal temperature has changed after living here for the better part of the last 8 years. 

I’ll miss the people.  We have lots of acquaintances here.  Many people know us as the “foreign family” or the “family who likes bike riding”.  There are a few whom we’ve poured precious time and energy into, and it’s those friends who we’ll think of and miss the most.  There’s Sing and his family who live up on the mountain.  Their house sits on a precipice that affords a beautiful view of the surrounding valleys where our family lives and also into the surrounding countryside of Laos.  It’s not a luxury house that they live in though, nor are their lives easy and comfortable.  I’ve learned a lot from Sing’s family about contentment.  Could I learn to be happy in a simple cement block house, with not a stitch of paint?  Would I be content with a kitchen that has bamboo for walls?  What if my bathroom floor was at a pitched angle and there was no shower stall, only a bucket of cold water with a dipper?  Am I mature enough to rejoice in the Lord, enjoying life no matter what kind of home I’m living in?  I still ponder these questions whenever I visit this family because there’s a part of me that longs to be above the trap of comfort and yet I so often can’t quite get past myself.  I’ll miss that family and what they’ve taught me about simplicity, dignity and their own trust and faith in Christ. 

I’ll miss the sense of purpose that we have while we’re in Thailand.  Our day to day job is almost stripped from us when we return to the States and we spend our time talking about our time here, rather than living it.  It’s a facet of our life that seems to go on the shelf for the majority of our time at home.  We have multiple opportunities to share in church, with our supporters and our family about our life and ministry here- and yet we know it becomes old hat to those who hear it over and over again.  So when we miss life here, Jeremy and I open up and chat in the Thai/English dialect that we’ve developed between ourselves.

Thailand is a part of who I am now.  I’ve experienced some of the greatest joys and trials of my life here, and those memories are inextricably wound up in the tropical humidity, the rice and rainstorms of northern Thailand. 

But what will I miss the most?  The mangoes……they just don’t make them the same in the Americas……..

We’ve had absolutely lovely weather here the last three days, rainy, rainy, rainy.  When sweltering, humid and hot days turn into rainy and 76 degree days, we adjust from being a slightly-irritable-in-the-late-afternoon-heat family to a relaxed-comfortable-non-sweating-happy-family.  I think our lawn is officially saturated now and the trees look almost inches taller than they did over the weekend…it’s wonderful.  I’m going to miss this place while we’re home. 

Clouds

I’m starting to think more about what it will be like to be away from Thailand for 6 months and am starting to get familiar with the routine.  It goes something like this; As soon as I am in America, I become homesick for Thailand.  The opposite is true as well, as soon as I am in Thailand, I am homesick for America.  Something happens when you live overseas for an extended period of time.  Somehow the smells, the scenery, the thoughts and way of life become a part of who you are.  I get that feeling whenever I step out of the airport in Bangkok onto the city streets.  The powerful smell of fish sauce assaults my nostrils, and yet smells almost sweet, familiar in a strangely foreign way.  To me Thailand symbolizes a lot of things.  It’s the first country outside of the U.S. that I’ve really truly experienced.  I’ve learned the language, developed a taste for the food, become familiar with a portion of the myriad of cultural complexities.  Thailand is also the first place where I felt called by the Lord to serve, to follow Him here despite leaving so many precious people behind.  Thailand is where I met Jeremy, where we dated, became engaged and now where we’ve lived as a married couple for more than 5 of our 6 years of marriage.  Thailand is where I became a mom for the first and second time.  It’s where I’ve raised my children for almost the entirety of their lives. This country holds such dear memories for me. 

I’ll miss the smell of humidity, the wetness that permeates every fiber of our home and every pore on our person.  Right now it’s 76 degrees.  I almost feel a little too cool.  Last night when I went to bed I noticed the temperature in our bedroom was about 84.  “It feels cool”, I thought, “we can go without the fan tonight.”  I’m having these visions of myself in 3 layers of long underwear in the first month of October.  It feels as though even my internal temperature has changed after living here for the better part of the last 8 years. 

I’ll miss the people.  We have lots of acquaintances here.  Many people know us as the “foreign family” or the “family who likes bike riding”.  There are a few whom we’ve poured precious time and energy into, and it’s those friends who we’ll think of and miss the most.  There’s Sing and his family who live up on the mountain.  Their house sits on a precipice that affords a beautiful view of the surrounding valleys where our family lives and also into the surrounding countryside of Laos.  It’s not a luxury house that they live in though, nor are their lives easy and comfortable.  I’ve learned a lot from Sing’s family about contentment.  Could I learn to be happy in a simple cement block house, with not a stitch of paint?  Would I be content with a kitchen that has bamboo for walls?  What if my bathroom floor was at a pitched angle and there was no shower stall, only a bucket of cold water with a dipper?  Am I mature enough to rejoice in the Lord, enjoying life no matter what kind of home I’m living in?  I still ponder these questions whenever I visit this family because there’s a part of me that longs to be above the trap of comfort and yet I so often can’t quite get past myself.  I’ll miss that family and what they’ve taught me about simplicity, dignity and their own trust and faith in Christ. 

I’ll miss the sense of purpose that we have while we’re in Thailand.  Our day to day job is almost stripped from us when we return to the States and we spend our time talking about our time here, rather than living it.  It’s a facet of our life that seems to go on the shelf for the majority of our time at home.  We have multiple opportunities to share in church, with our supporters and our family about our life and ministry here- and yet we know it becomes old hat to those who hear it over and over again.  So when we miss life here, Jeremy and I open up and chat in the Thai/English dialect that we’ve developed between ourselves.

Thailand is a part of who I am now.  I’ve experienced some of the greatest joys and trials of my life here, and those memories are inextricably wound up in the tropical humidity, the rice and rainstorms of northern Thailand. 

But what will I miss the most?  The mangoes……they just don’t make them the same in the Americas……..

t’s about that time, furlough time.  It’s hard to believe that the two and a half years of our term are coming to a close.  Years have turned into months.  Months into now just mere days before we board an airplane and journey back home.

Ready to fly home!

Some people have wondered if I’m sad to leave, if saying goodbye for 6 months is difficult.  At times I have certainly felt the difficulty of saying goodbye to life here and closing the door on the work that has become such a part of our daily lives.  At this particular stage, though, excitement, happiness and relief would be a more fitting description of what I’m feeling as we wait in expectation of this next chapter.

  The anticipation of an upcoming furlough tends to make me rather reflective.  It’s certainly an excellent time to look back on the past term, relive the struggles, remember the joys and pray about how the Lord would continue to direct us.  It’s almost impossible not to have these recollections as constant companions during the final weeks of our time here. 

 Looking back on the past 30 months or so, it’s clear that there have been mountains and valleys, although the mountain passes often seemed too short, and the valleys seemed so long.  I personally continued to struggle with tiredness, feelings of being overwhelmed, loneliness.  Some might hear those concerns and say, “Get that girl back home, she’s not doing well!”  And believe me, I had many of those thoughts myself.  There were many times that I was literally on my knees asking the Lord to either take us out of this situation or provide some kind of lightening bolt of provision that would ease my daily struggles.  Even in the midst of those prayers though, I sensed from the Lord that He was not ready to relieve me.  I knew that good things were happening in the midst of this season and yet I sometimes wondered why I was called to this.  I looked at the lives of others and saw the comforts and encouragements they enjoyed daily, things that seemed worlds away from mine. 

   At a point of intense difficulty the Lord placed in my hands some books written by a missionary who served in Asia about 50 years ago.  As I read about Isobel Kuhn and her story, I was amazed at how similar our struggles were.  An amazingly Godly woman who is already with Jesus has taught me much in this past year and I am thankful.  One thing that struck me about Kuhn’s book, as well as books about Hudson Taylor and James Fraser (men who were missionaries to China and Burma in the late 1800’s, early 1900’s), was the personal battles that they faced in their early years of mission work.  I’ve seen how the struggles they faced are still present in the lives of believers today and that passing through those early trials actually made them more effective witnesses of Christ throughout the rest of their lives. 

 Reading in 2^nd Corinthians just a few months ago, I was also amazed at reading words which seemed to speak to me directly, words which brought clarity and light to my darkness.

“We do not want you to be uninformed , brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia.  We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.  Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.  But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us.  On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.  Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.” (vs. 8-11)  

If I could choose a verse that would summarize this past term and what I have learned it would from the above passage, “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”If my God can raise the dead, then surely He can see me through anything.  I can now conclude with this thought regarding the struggles I faced in this last year:

-Our family had case after case of sickness and struggles with our health, “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” 

Rudy in the hospital

-A lack of encouragement and true friends who lived close by often brought loneliness and discouragement, “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”

On the rocks

-Concerns about lack of clarity and direction within the church and in how the Lord would lead us in the future, “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”  

Comtemplative Raymond

(Here’s a picture of Ray looking concerned about the lack of clarity and direction within the church…)

Besides that, what have I learned?  That when I have the Lord and His Word I can face anything.  I don’t think I have yet had to learn a lesson that valuable or that difficult.  But then again, growth comes in the storm doesn’t it?  Not usually in the calm.  

There is another aspect to the above verse that I have seen powerfully too,"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers."  I am so thankful to those who have prayed for us, especially in the times we have been struggling.  Truly there is no more valuable support that we could ever receive, ever.  Thank you.  It has been a blessing to partner with you. 

The cool season in Thailand (November through February) is a blessed respite not only from the heat, but from the bugs as well.  I'm not sure exactly where all the little multiple legged critters vacation during the days that the temps dip into the 60's, but you can be sure that I don't miss them a bit.  Food crumbs on the floor go uneaten.  There's hardly a need to slap a mosquito or a fly.  It's a blessedly quiet time of year.  Unfortunately sometime during the hot and dry season, that sometimes has rain (March through May), those bugs that were relaxing by the beaches south of here come back in a major wave of...bugginess.  The first is the elusive and unbelievable furry caterpillar.  I have never been afraid or intimidated by furry caterpillars.  As a child I would collect many furry caterpillars and place them in jars with twigs and leaves, covered by a saran-wrapped top with a rubber band to hold it in place and then of course, so the furry caterpillar could “breathe” I would dutifully poke small holes in the wrap with a pencil.  So, I have never been afraid or intimated by furry caterpillars.  I almost laughed out loud at our friend here who first told us about a certain type of furry caterpillar, which I’m pretty sure we don’t have in the Midwest.  This caterpillar, he said, has fur that falls off and if you get any on your skin it’ll make you itch like crazy!  Even if the fur is on the ground and a little bit gets on your skin, it’ll cause a reaction.  Of course I thought that was ridiculous, until I experienced it first-hand.  I was visiting a friend’s house with Ray.  They gave him a few bananas and as he was eating them we all noticed that there were several furry caterpillars on the bananas and crawling on the outside of his shirt.  The hostess was obviously worried for Ray.  I didn’t think it was a big deal until he started crying and a few minutes later I looked at his torso and he was covered in red, splotchy welts which obviously itched like crazy.  It took several hours for the swelling to go down and I am now a fear-filled furry caterpillar watcher.  Those guys are seriously evil!  This time of year they apparently live in the grass until it gets hot and then they migrate to cooler places, like our houses.  For the most part they stay on the outside of the walls of the house, thankfully. 

Another buggy part of this time of year is the various flying insects that are attracted to light, namely our porch light or any light that is shining out of a screened window.  One night we were eating dessert and a crowd of kids starting gathering on our back step.  I thought they would be interested in having some of our chocolate brownies…..instead they were gathering their own delicacy, bugs to fry up and snack on!  Shiver, shiver. 

Last night was the return of the may flies that find their way into any lighted crack in the house.  Proceed to fly towards the lighted ceiling bulbs for a few minutes (what is the attraction to light anyways?) and then fall on the ground, drop their wings off and crawl around like crazy.  This was the last straw.  I shut off all the lights except the outside ones, opened the door and let them out.  Unfortunately this morning the early sunrise showed quite a bit of carnage.  Tonight’s plan?  Lights off at dusk so those bugs can find another light to follow. 

Some days I just know we’re in for a busy and tiring day.  Today the morning started out  as follows; I woke up at 6am and had just started reading a passage in the Bible that I had chosen for the day, when I heard my little boys calling to me.  The boys went in search of Jeremy, who had woken up with a bad headache.  At 6:45am a church member called, I ignored it, thinking that any pre-7am issues from outside our home would only add to the difficulty of the morning.  We ate breakfast.  At 7:20am the church member called again.  I answered it and heard that Siripon, our very sick friend that I mentioned in the previous post, was heading down from her mountain neighborhood to ask for the church to help her.  This is all on a Sunday, a day that is supposed to be a Sabbath rest!  How could the Lord allow all this to happen to us, before 7:30 on a Sunday morning!  Ha ha.   

 Sunday out here in Wiang Kaen is not the easiest day for me.  I think part of me still compares the way I spent Sundays previously to the way they are spent now.  Previously Sunday was a day to wake up and have a peaceful morning, although once you have kids it’s hard to get everyone out the door dressed and ironed in a peaceful manner!  I enjoyed going to church and being ministered to, through the sermon, through time s of encouragement and sharing with friends.  I enjoyed the afternoon, often a time to go out to eat, take a nap and enjoy a leisurely day, basically doing whatever I wanted.  Sundays are now a day that often starts early.  Our house is next door to the church and so we often have visitors stop by on their way to the service, as we hurry to eat our breakfast and change out of our pjs.  Sometimes there are last minute things to do for the church service.  The assistant pastor remembers that it’s the first of the month and he forgot to ask Jeremy to lead the communion part of the service.  The microphones need new batteries, could we please run and get some?  Sunday doesn’t always feel like a peaceful day when you’re drawn into all the details of preparation.  On the other hand, it’s always a blessing to see friends at church and I enjoy chatting with the other young mothers.  We have 6 young kids between 4 of us moms, between the ages of 1-6 years old, so there is always plenty to share about.  The service begins at 10:30am.  There is a time of singing together as a big church group and then the younger children, ages 3-10 have a Sunday School meeting while the adults listen to the sermon.  As a mother of a child under the age of 3 I have the interesting task of figuring out how to entertain my little one, quietly, in the service all the while listening to the message, in Thai.  I haven’t quite succeeded in this and I often hear very little of the sermon.  Some of the time I and the other young mothers end up in the back hallway with our youngsters, trying to avoid disrupting the service with our children’s babbling and giggles.  It’s a temptation to be frustrated, instead of making the best of the situation.  After church we have a community meal which some of the women of the church prepare.  We chat and laugh over plates of rice and veggies.  In typical Yao fashion, there are always complaints that the food is not as good as, assumingly, one could make themselves.  By about 1pm the moms and their kids start heading home for naps.  The men of the church have their weekly meeting which can last late into the afternoon.  Sometimes there is a big group bike ride in the evening hours, and then everyone heads home for dinner and rest at their own homes.  I suppose it’s a very typical Thai Sunday, very communal.  We tend to finish Sunday and look forward to an actual Sabbath rest on Monday!  I continually have to ask the Lord, how is it that He would have me spend my Sunday, or more likely, what would He like my attitude to be based on what is going to happen to me during that day. 

As I mentioned above today Siripon’s family decided that they’d done all that they could, using their demon worship doctoring, and decided that they wanted the church to help take her to a place where she could get medical care.  I will remind the reader here that she had already been diagnosed, twice, with kidney failure.  It was her parent’s decision to ignore the advice of medical providers, who spoke of her need for immediate dialysis, and take her care into their own hands.   I must admit that I was relieved when I heard of their decision.  Finally, Siripon would get the care she has so desperately needed.  When I saw her though, I must admit that the first thoughts I had were disgust with her family that they would allow her health to decline to this point.  She looked absolutely miserable.  Unkempt hair and clothing and body indicated that even some of the most basic nursing care had been neglected.  She had clearly lost weight and her legs were covered with little sores and scabs.  Her face was yellowish and bloated, lips cracked and scabbed.  Her breathing labored.  A 19 year old girl, a picture of health just 8 weeks ago had fallen to this.  She’s on her way to the hospital now, a 2 hour drive.  Nobody is sure what can be done for her now.  What is God’s plan in this?  I long to know.  Pray with me that it will ultimately be for her good and God’s glory. 

These days Wiang Kaen is covered by a thick haze.  Our view of the sun looks like a bright red ball, the moon appears likewise.  Out on a bike ride yesterday morning I could feel the thick filthiness of the air, fortunately intermingled with the sweet scent of blooming Pomelo trees.  The farmers in our area use this hot and dry season (March-May) to burn their fields, getting rid of the weeds and refuse of their harvest.  It’s easier to burn than to collect it all in bundles, and so the weather looks gray and overcast, day in and day out.  Although it’s unlikely, everyone is hoping for, waiting for and expecting rain.  “Any day now”, we tell ourselves, as each new day dawns the same as the last.  This always feels like a season in Thailand to bear, rather than enjoy, to make it through, rather than to rejoice in.  We all long for the sound of raindrops on the roof and we hope that a few downpours of rain will clear the sky and bring us a view of our beautiful mountains once again.                          

Of course once the rain comes and rainy season has truly arrived, everyone has new complaints and concerns.  Travel by motorbike or bicycle is tricky and unpredictable.  Leaky roofs fill homes with waterfalls of destruction.  Laundry that is forgotten outside on the line has to be quickly retrieved and then oftentimes dried with an electric fan while downpours continue.  Every season has its charms and its frustrations.  What a challenge it is for me to be truly be content in every circumstance, to rejoice in everything, to be thankful at all times. 

This gray weather seems to match an undercurrent in our family as well.  The church we work with here is on the verge of some major decisions and changes, most of which will have a pretty significant impact on us.  The interim pastor is deciding whether he will stay on or leave at the end of April.  The dorm parent who has faithfully taken care of the church sponsored dorm will be leaving in the next month and is asking our advice and help as to how to approach the next phase of her life and personal ministry.  A replacement for the dorm parent has been 99% arranged, although that 1%( in this culture) could turn everything around.  One of the dear gals in the dorm was recently diagnosed with chronic kidney failure and her chances of getting the help she needs are not as good as we would like.  Our furlough is coming up late summer through the end of the year and yet with all the changes, or possible changes going on here, it’s hard to imagine that everything will be running smoothly enough for us to keep our scheduled plans.  At times I long for all these decisions and possibilities to be concluded, just bring it on, let us in on what’s going to happen.  At other times I’ve felt the comfort and safety of the waiting period, especially knowing that its conclusion could bring a set of new challenges.  It’s a time of waiting and I guess I’m thankful that I know we’re on the edge of the possibility of a big change, rather than just finding out about everything unexpectedly.  The blessing of waiting is that it puts the control in the Lord’s hands, where it should be, and reminds me that I can trust Him with whatever He has for me.  I’ll conclude with a quote that has encouraged me during times of waiting. 

“I do know that waiting on the Lord requires a willingness to bear uncertainty.  To carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God whenever it intrudes upon ones thoughts. “

-Elisabeth Elliot 

The neighborhood we live in is divided into two different sections by a stretch of a small county highway.  On the side we live on there is a stretch of houses along the main road, then a smaller road winds back away from the highway to the area we live in.  Our house is on the edge of New Life Church of Wiang Kaen’s property.  The church’s soccer field borders our house and then there’s the church, a big cement building with a bright blue roof.  A few other houses are in back behind the church, all belonging to members of the church.  It’s a blessing to live in a Christian section of this neighborhood as the influences of the neighborhood are often dark and immoral. 

Crossing the road to the other part of the neighborhood is a clear line, both in feeling and in sight.  Houses are mostly constructed of wood.  There are bamboo homes, with only grass thatch for a roof.  There are water faucets connected to random pieces of pipes, providing water for dish washing, laundry and whatever else.  The water spills haphazardly onto the ground where broken cement slabs serve as a counter/table for the chores that need to be accomplished there.  

It was to this side of the neighborhood that we walked to today and to a house that is one of the most dilapidated in the area.  Trash lies around outside, longing for someone to put it in its right place.  The walls of the house are constructed of wood planks, spaced in some places, so that light and every other kind of vermin can make its way in without even having to use the door.  The floor is dirt, scattered with old cigarette butts, rusty nails and miscellaneous broken household items.  The old grandpa greets us as we enter, inviting us to eat with him at his small bamboo table nestled on the floor.  It sets next to the indoor cooking fire and a pile of ashes that rise high above floor level.  There is a putrid smell, of smoke I suppose and the closeness of humanity.  A little boy named John is the person we have come to see.  His mother carries him out from the back bedroom to the main room and lays him on a wooden plank bed.  The bed is covered with laundry and long, dirty nails poke out from the underside.  This little boy is Rudy’s age, 19 months old, but he couldn’t be any more different from this jolly little son of mine that I’m holding in my arms.  7 months ago the neighborhood flooded and little John, having just started to walk, wandered away from whoever it was that was watching him.  He disappeared and was found almost 30 minutes later, face down in a rushing stream, stopped by the strong roots of a tree that held him in place.  He was immediately rushed to a big hospital in Chiang Rai, about 2 hours away, where he spent the next 7 months.  At times he was on a respirator.  Recently he was released from the hospital after being given a tracheotomy.  John lies very still on his bed.  At times phlegm and water start coming out of his nose and his tracheotomy site.  His mother works quickly to suction out the areas that are causing trouble as John struggles to breathe.  I felt faint and almost sick watching the site.  It wasn’t the phlegm that bothered me and there was no blood to be seen.  It was just everything that seemed to crush and overwhelm me.  The exhausted mother, the almost lifeless child, the stiff legs, the distant expression on his face, the filthiness of the surroundings, the hopelessness of his condition.  What darkness there must be when one doesn’t know the Lord and is faced with these circumstances.  As a mother a week of sickness in a child is a challenge and a major concern, but this, this is possibly a lifetime of serious and grave concern.  John’s father has deserted the family and the only other person around, grandfather, is hardly able to help with the tasks of caring for this child.  I could see a look of defeat on the mother’s face.  We’ve talked to his mother many times since John’s accident and she always seemed incredibly strong and positive.  This time though I could see that tiredness and hopelessness were beginning to creep into her features.  She is not a believer and although we pray with her every time we visit, I know she won’t have the incredible peace that the Lord gives until she accepts His gift for herself.  Would you pray with me for Ching Muay and her son John?  Pray that Ching Muay would accept the Lord as her Savior and rely on Him to supply all her needs.  Pray for John, that the Lord would heal him. 

I rejoiced in my boys the rest of the day after our visit.  What a reminder it was to me of the blessing of good health and safety.  I rejoiced in the ridiculous amounts of energy that they seem to be able to put out every day, because it means that they are healthy and strong.  I rejoiced in the questions and singing, because it means that they are able to speak and think and that they are developing normally.  I rejoiced in the huge meals they were able to devour, thankful that the Lord is providing for all their needs.  I am thankful tonight for all the things that I so often take for granted. 

 It’s a long trip from Bangkok to Wiang Kaen.  A 90 minute flight from the Northernmost airport to Bangkok turns into 12 hours of driving time.  Add an hour worth of stops for 2 pairs of restless little boy legs, 1 hour for snacks and meals, and usually an extra hour for bathroom stops and coffee breaks.  It adds up and we’re always excited to arrive at our final destination

Bangkok is an enormous city, packed to the gills with everything and everyone that you can possibly imagine.  During our time there we literally saw people from every end of the earth, crowded into that city to make a living, to shop and to eat.  Eating in Bangkok truly is a joyful experience for us.  Having left behind our sparse outdoor Wiang Kaen market, we are thrown into a variety of restaurants and food courts that span every appetite and craving.  Our trip was a blessing.  Not only did we receive a renewal of our visa that makes it possible for us to continue living here, but we also had a relaxed time together as a family, things I don’t take for granted. 

I love to watch the scenery as we travel home from Bangkok.  The towering ritzy high-rises of Bangkok are replaced by prosperous but smaller cities.  The cityscapes are soon transformed into mile after mile, or kilometer after kilometer of factories and then rice fields, forests and quaint little towns.  I used to feel more and more isolated and lonely as I traveled these roads to our far-flung home, but now it feels like coming home to enter the countryside of Thailand.  The road changes, from 8 lanes, to 6, to 4 and then 2 as we make our way northward.  Faded flags wave in the rush of passing traffic, alerting drivers and passengers to roadside stands that sell products and souvenirs that are famous to a particular district that we pass.  Bright orange pumpkins are stacked in neat rows alongside deep green watermelons, creating a striking display.  The next set of stands advertises roasted snake.  Little plastic bags dangle from their tables, containing a feast for those who choose to partake.  We drive on. 

Rudy is asleep in his car seat, thank you Lord.  These trips are probably the hardest on him because we can’t explain where we’re going, or why, or that we’ll stop for lunch soon.  He is patient most of the time and for that I am thankful.  He has been a real trooper, taking in the sights of the city from his stroller seat or toddling through malls and walkways as we made our way from place to place.  Rudy still tries to charm the waitresses with a coy little look, although he pretends to be uninterested when he’s offered the chance to be held by the lady who serves our ice water.  He’s a sweet little boy and I think he’ll be happy to be back in Wiang Kaen again.

It looks like rain up ahead.  Not the rain from huge, fluffy clouds, but from a dark, hazy and overcast sky.  We sure do need it.  It must be a welcome sight to this dusty brown landscape.  This time of the year, until April always seems a little surreal in terms of the weather.  A normally lush and wet country turns dry and brown until rainy season arrives in May and reminds us why the dry months are such a blessing. 

We’ll be stopping for dinner here pretty soon.  We were going to stop earlier, but then Ray fell asleep and we decided that a nap was more important than lunch.  This little town must have a restaurant although I must admit it’s not as much of a welcome sight to me as the places I’m familiar with in Wiang Kaen.  The restaurant owner is nice, she has a blond cat with blue eyes and Ray is excited to chase it around while we wait for dinner to be served.  Ray and Rudy split an order of fried rice, I have my own plate of the same and Jeremy has garlic fried pork with a fried egg on the side.  We’re glad to be back on the road again, everyone’s nerves are getting a bit frayed. 

One of our last stops before home is at a grocery store about 2 hours from our house in a town called Chiang Kham.  Ray is excited.  He loves to go on outings, anywhere, even to the grocery store, and this is no exception.  He wants to know what we’re getting and of course “why?”.  He is such a curious kid.  He loved Bangkok, after he got over being scared of the traffic.  He is like a sponge these days and it’s so fun to watch him spend the day soaking things up and then enjoy watching him sleep and dry out for another day of taking it all in.  Ray expressed being sad to go back to Wiang Kaen although I think he’ll get back into life there easily enough.  Bangkok is a fun place to visit but I don’t think any of us would really want to live there. 

We’re almost home now.  The road is familiar.  I recognize a newly planted rice field and how dried up the corn stalks are looking these days.  We try to guess if it rained while we were gone or if it’s still cool, unlike Bangkok which was hot and humid even during cool season.  There’s our house, everything looks fine.  I’m thankful to the Lord for how He has protected our home while we’ve been gone.  We unpack the van, the boys are still asleep.  We carry them to their beds, they’re happy to be in a different position.  We unpack the groceries and the suitcases.  Falling into bed at 10:30pm feels wonderful.  The cool breeze blows the curtains at our window, the crickets chirp, the night is still.  We are home. 

Happy New Year everyone! 

Some of you know that Jeremy and I have taken up the regular habit of biking in the past 8 months or so.  I’m talking bicycle biking, not dirt bike biking.   We’ve never actually gone on a bike ride together, but we trade off, rotating mornings when one person can enjoy the luxury of waking early, taking a long bike ride and then even getting a shower in before taking on the responsibilities of the day.  Personally, I am thrilled to have found a form of exercise that I enjoy and that is easy to make a part of my daily life.  Wiang Kaen is a bit of an exercise vacuum for women.  I could either participate in the evening aerobic session that sometimes takes place near the market, or I could rely on the heavy housekeeping and farming work that keeps most women fit.  One reason that I’ve learned to love biking so much is because it gives me time away.  There are no coffee shops, book stores, malls, swimming pools, women’s Bible studies that give me an opportunity to get out and about without the kids.  But biking gives me hours worth of quiet roads, gliding past fields, watching the morning fog clear, time for prayer and a breath of fresh air for this introvert at heart. 

My first few months of biking were spent in doing short rides near our house.  Somehow being able to plan a 30 minute trip and be back in time for the kid’s breakfast seemed like a nice plan back when I started.  But that started to wear on me and for my 30^th birthday I decided to do a 30 km ride.  I took off down the road on a path I had driven dozens of times before, but biking is not the same as driving and towards the halfway point of my ride I was facing hills that I wanted to push the bike up, not ride up.  All of a sudden I was reminded of my years of swimming when I would face a physical challenge in the pool, and I would have to choose to rely on the Lord to help me.  Now, I love exercise in moderate forms but there is something that draws my heart to the Lord when I am challenged to do something harder than what I thought possible.  Those are times when I truly experience the Lord’s strength. 

One of my regular rides now takes me on a road that reminds me much of my own walk with the Lord regarding His bringing me to this ministry in Thailand.  I know the Lord works in steps and stages with me.  If He had told me, upon my first trip to Thailand, that He was planning to send me here long-term, I think I would have had a hard time accepting it.  As it was though, He led me slowly.  From a 2 month term, to a two year term, to marrying a man whose heart was also in Thailand, to moving to a modernized city in Thailand, to moving to a small town…..  He has only led me at each step as far as He knows I can go by His grace.  Now, back to the actual road.  The first part of my ride is fairly easy, although there’s a gradual incline.  There are dogs barking and people hollering to look at the foreign gal riding her bike, but nothing too difficult.  All of a sudden though, at about 11 km past my house I begin to reach the path of the mountains.  A winding steep hill is half-hidden by an outcrop of trees.  Up and down it goes for the next 5 km.  Breathtaking beauty and breathtaking exercise.  On my birthday ride I went most of that route, up and down all those hills.  On an average day now though I don’t have the time, or the stamina, to make that ride.  For awhile I would reach that first steep incline and turn around, deciding that I should probably get back to the laundry or the family.  The last couple of times though I’ve felt the truth that if I can face the physical challenges in life, or exercise, with the Lord’s help, how much more will that encourage me and be an example to me of how the Lord will help me with the daily challenges that I face in other areas of my life.  It may seem like kind of a jump for some people, to relate physical activity so much to how the Lord can be honored by it.  I have to say though, that all those thousands of hours I put into swimming, staring at the bottom of the pool, the Lord can bring you to a deeper place with Him during that time, it’s not wasted time if you choose to look deeper. 

I’ve made it up that steep hill a few times now on my rides.  It reminds me of our ministry here, that some things have steadily gotten harder.  The first time I rode on that ride I was eagerly expecting a long, flat road for miles to come.  I hoped for some respite.  The fact is that the road beyond that first hill is even harder.  The hills are steeper and longer at times.  The potholes are worse as it is a road less traveled.  It’s farther from home and therefore more tiring.  But do you know that that road also has the most beautiful vistas from the tops of the mountain rises?  Do you know that the road crosses rivers that sparkle in the morning sun and fields of rice and corn?  It’s a part of the road too where I need the Lord’s help more than I did at the beginning of the ride, but to me I know that will make it so much sweeter.  There’s always that choice in life, I suppose, to turn around when I see something that looks too challenging.  Somehow though, going back to those straight, flat roads doesn’t seem as tempting as pushing ahead and trusting the Lord to see me through.  Whether it be up or down or whatever, whatever this year brings, and it’s looking like it will bring some more major challenges, I’m ready because I’m riding with Jesus.