These days Wiang Kaen is covered by a thick haze. Our view of the sun looks like a bright red ball, the moon appears likewise. Out on a bike ride yesterday morning I could feel the thick filthiness of the air, fortunately intermingled with the sweet scent of blooming Pomelo trees. The farmers in our area use this hot and dry season (March-May) to burn their fields, getting rid of the weeds and refuse of their harvest. It’s easier to burn than to collect it all in bundles, and so the weather looks gray and overcast, day in and day out. Although it’s unlikely, everyone is hoping for, waiting for and expecting rain. “Any day now”, we tell ourselves, as each new day dawns the same as the last. This always feels like a season in Thailand to bear, rather than enjoy, to make it through, rather than to rejoice in. We all long for the sound of raindrops on the roof and we hope that a few downpours of rain will clear the sky and bring us a view of our beautiful mountains once again.
Of course once the rain comes and rainy season has truly arrived, everyone has new complaints and concerns. Travel by motorbike or bicycle is tricky and unpredictable. Leaky roofs fill homes with waterfalls of destruction. Laundry that is forgotten outside on the line has to be quickly retrieved and then oftentimes dried with an electric fan while downpours continue. Every season has its charms and its frustrations. What a challenge it is for me to be truly be content in every circumstance, to rejoice in everything, to be thankful at all times.
This gray weather seems to match an undercurrent in our family as well. The church we work with here is on the verge of some major decisions and changes, most of which will have a pretty significant impact on us. The interim pastor is deciding whether he will stay on or leave at the end of April. The dorm parent who has faithfully taken care of the church sponsored dorm will be leaving in the next month and is asking our advice and help as to how to approach the next phase of her life and personal ministry. A replacement for the dorm parent has been 99% arranged, although that 1%( in this culture) could turn everything around. One of the dear gals in the dorm was recently diagnosed with chronic kidney failure and her chances of getting the help she needs are not as good as we would like. Our furlough is coming up late summer through the end of the year and yet with all the changes, or possible changes going on here, it’s hard to imagine that everything will be running smoothly enough for us to keep our scheduled plans. At times I long for all these decisions and possibilities to be concluded, just bring it on, let us in on what’s going to happen. At other times I’ve felt the comfort and safety of the waiting period, especially knowing that its conclusion could bring a set of new challenges. It’s a time of waiting and I guess I’m thankful that I know we’re on the edge of the possibility of a big change, rather than just finding out about everything unexpectedly. The blessing of waiting is that it puts the control in the Lord’s hands, where it should be, and reminds me that I can trust Him with whatever He has for me. I’ll conclude with a quote that has encouraged me during times of waiting.
“I do know that waiting on the Lord requires a willingness to bear uncertainty. To carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God whenever it intrudes upon ones thoughts. “
-Elisabeth Elliot
